Ask any of the bobbleheads on my squad
They’ll say I’m feared more than the wrath of God
I hate them all and all of them hate me
Because the system works, the system called fierce brutality
Got a little motto always sees me through
If you irritate me I will punish you
There’s a lot of people I wish did not exist
Schuester and your Glee freaks you’re top of my list
The law says not to torture kids and claims I’m merciless
But rights are bleeding heart ideas for dumb socialists
Don’t you know their spirits need to be destroyed?
When you coddle artists they’ll be unemployed
Still surprised you’re picked on by the kids at school?
Maybe take a hint that sequins aren’t that cool
People are offended by your lame jazz hands
That’s why all you pop hacks have no facebook friends
Jewish girl have your ego checked, you’re not Celine Dion
Porcelain you are a dude, so don’t wear silk chiffon
Let’s say that your music makes me want a gun
Man I wish our President was Republican
So what’s the one conclusion I could bring this number to?
If you’re in the Glee Club I’ll humiliate you!
*In this imaginary episode Glee Nationals are in Chicago, so there's lots of fun covers of the musical "Chicago". (For the record I wrote this the year that Nationals was in New York, and I had absolutely no idea it was going to be in Chicago the following season.) Best to picture the above to the tune of "When You're Good To Mama" but instead of Queen Latifah it's Sue Sylvester. And it's less a statement about corruption in the legal system than a statement about how much Sue wants to destroy Glee Club... Again. Obviously I don't actually mean any of this, particularly the bit about wishing the President was Republican. That part was really painful to write. Also I'm the #1 fan of the Geneva Conventions, so torturing children = bad.